Fic - "Coded Correspondence"
Mar. 22nd, 2009 04:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rajTitle: Coded Correspondence
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
raja815
Pairing/Fandom:Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3664
Warnings Manga spoilers from chapter 30 or so up to recent chapters. A smidge of angst. And fluff. Oh god, the fluff.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is © Hiromu Arakawa. I will make no capitol benefit from this.
Author's Notes: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
10_prompts, set 7, prompt #2, "Long Distance." Presented as a series of letters written by Havoc and Roy between manga chapters 83 and 89. Pretty reliant on the Roy-tachi's mission codenames. Also makes passing references to a good deal of my other works (most notably the Strange Bedfellows arc and the ABC Kink Project) but this fic can stand alone. Fun challenge to try and figure out their different writing styles, especially since they were both trying their damnedest to stay in character with their code name roles.
Dear Mr. Roy,
I’d write this on pretty pink paper if I could but even Ma won’t carry it in the shop and she carries everything. What does that tell you, huh.
I got home yesterday afternoon. I always used to like traveling by train but this time it made me sick. I think it was the way my chair was moving around while the train was moving. Anyway, you don’t need to worry cause it put any boy in the car who might’ve been looking my way right back off me again. So you’re still stuck with me, haha. Remember the time when we first got together on the train? I was thinking about that. I told ol’ Braidykins I didn’t feel well, because I was embarrassed to sit where I could see you. You took care of that though didn’t you, you sly bastard.
Ma and Denis met me at the station. Denis was my favorite cousin when we were kids. You’d like him I think. You seem to like them tall and blond. Anyway it’s weird being back home. I don’t know if I like it. Not much for me to do even at the store. I can’t even reach the cash register. But Ma said she’d figure out something.
My little nephews are all afraid of me. Even Denis’ kids won’t really talk to me. They still tell some pretty fucked up stories about the military here, I guess.
I miss you.
I can’t believe I said that. I really am a silly little girl, aren’t I. But I do.
I guess I don’t have much else to say, so please write back soon if you get a sec.
Love and lots of girlie kisses,
Jacqueline
PS—Oh I forgot. You don’t have to worry about addressing these letters. Just use my first name, Jacqueline. None of that Miss Havoc bullshit cause believe me there are a lot of other Miss Havocs here. All the town mail comes through our shop anyway so I always see when the letter is for me!
PPS—Should I seal the next letter with a kiss? I don’t know. I never wrote many love letters before, haha. I am a little shy after all.
Dearest Jacqueline,
I see you haven’t lost your delicate sense of tongue-in-cheek humor, Jacqueline my dear. I was overwhelmed at the subtle, womanly wiles in your last correspondence. (And I must assure you, a kiss to the envelope could only improve things. You may not have heard, but my newest mail secretary lacks the guile of our own dear Elizabeth, and the more obvious your flirtations, the more might be done to turn her thoughts away from, shall we say, more businesslike affairs.)
I was very sorry to hear you were taken ill on the train. Having been on the receiving end of one of your more memorable bouts of stomach upset, I must say my thoughts go with your fellow passengers. But I do hope you feel better now that you have your figurative feet planted more firmly on the figurative ground.
And yes, Jacqueline. I do remember our train ride. I think of it very fondly.
While Denis certainly sounds charming, I believe I have all the blue-eyed blonde beauties I can handle at the moment. I’m not as young as I used to be.
Why don’t you tell your nephews some stories of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist and his heroic but expensive and paperwork-generating exploits? Our Elizabeth tells me this has worked quite well for entertaining the son of a certain friend she has in a very high place. Unfortunately, she also mentions that the boy himself is an unholy terror of a child. An unholy terror much like one of your most recent exes, if I understand correctly.
I miss you too, Jacqueline. Sometimes I find myself sitting rather too long in very smoky bars, trying to catch a whiff of your own peculiar brand of perfume, you silly little girl (to use your own phrase.)
I can’t help but wonder; if it isn’t delicate pink stationary you and your lovely mother sell, what is it? This admirer is admittedly curious about his favorite lady’s daily activities, and hopes your next letter will enlighten him further.
Ever yours,
Mr. Roy
Dear Mr. Roy,
There, how did you like your letter all sealed up with a kiss? Haha. I had to wait until Ma was out for a minute and take one of the lipsticks we sell and hide it under my blanket. I hope she doesn’t find it. I’m not allowed to wear make up, you see. Ma says it makes me look... trashy haha. Now she thinks I have a mouth rash though, cause I can’t quite figure out how to get all of it off after I use it.
Don’t you laugh at me about getting sick. You had some worse things happen at some points if you already forgot about them. But don’t worry, a lady never tells.
I don’t like the sound of that kid much, Mr. Roy. If he’s anything like my ex, he could be real trouble. I hope sweet little Elizabeth takes care. But she was always real careful when we worked in the flower shop. She kept the hawk’s eye on everything, all the time. So I know she’ll be okay.
Speaking of the ol’ flower shop... any word from Kate and Vanessa? I had a little call from Braidykins the other day and she said she hadn’t heard.
About the store… I guess the store sells most things. Chicken feed, fabric, pickled eggs, fishing tackle, hardware, shoes, pens, panties, soap, rope, candies, kittens, saddles, blankets, toothbrushes, hats… we can get pretty much anything we want. Ma’s going to start me doing some of the ordering and I think I might be able to get in a few special items that you might really like, Mr. Roy.
I spend most of the day in the store. Not the farm of course. Not much a girl like me can do to help there. But Denis did help me go around looking at some of the places we liked to play as kids. The river and the cow pond and the big barns and some of the fields where the ground was really flat so it was easier. I don’t think I’ll do it again though since it made me feel weird. Unless you come and visit sometime. Then I want to show you things. If you can believe it, there’s a little place by the river where some real soft grass grows. When I was a girl I always wanted to go there with someone special and mess around, you know. Maybe you and I could do that. You would have to carry me a little but it’s okay since I’m getting very skinny. Just like a pretty girl should be, right. Would you like to do that, Mr. Roy?
I got my grandpa to let me take his rifle for a while and practice last night. He didn’t want to let me but he caved in the end. I think I should practice. Just in case. It’s good for a girl to have a bunch of talents right and I am not much good at cooking and cleaning.
A bunch of kids came in today and wanted me to sell them some cigarettes. I told them I wasn’t the kind of girl to do that but they didn’t believe me. Ha.
I guess that’s all for now. Write me back if you can. I am a little lonely.
Lots of kisses,
Your Jacqueline
My beautiful Jacqueline,
I must say, the print of your lips against your last envelope put me into quite a state. Several people around headquarters remarked that they couldn’t ever remember seeing me in higher spirits. My new mail secretary was quite jealous. (I also had a quick word with Elizabeth about the your removal problem; she recommends you try wiping it away with cold cream or baby oil. Perhaps now you can better fool your mother. Although I must say, I don’t think she’s justified in her ban of your cosmetic use—a young lady as lovely as you should have every luxury.)
A lady never tells, eh? I’m quite pleased to hear it. A gentleman never tells either, just in case you ever worried. And we both know what a gentleman I am.
You’re quite right not to worry about our Elizabeth, Jacqueline. But thank you for your comforting words. I found them very reassuring; a welcome relief, as I seem to have very little else to reassure me these days.
As for your other old friends from the flower shop, I have heard from them recently, and all is well. In fact, we’re planning a bit of a reunion very soon now. I’m sorry you won’t be able to join us. A reunion is no reunion without my Jacqueline. I’ll miss you terribly the entire time.
Your store sounds as charming and eclectic as you yourself are! I do hope I can bring it some custom someday soon. I am particularly intrigued by the special nature of the items you hint at. What could they be, I wonder? Not the kind of thing you presented me for my last birthday, I trust. While I cherished the gift, I feel certain it isn’t the type of thing nice country girls like yourself should make readily available to the innocent folk in your township.
I’m very intrigued by your suggestion I visit your family’s farm, in particular by what you write about the patch of grass at the riverside. I am most titillated. I do hope such a trip can occur someday. Alas, it must wait til after this little reunion party is over and done with. I’m not sure what kind of state I’ll be in after it’s all over; you know how it can get when all of us are working together on something.
I must disagree with you about pretty, skinny girls. I prefer my Jacqueline at a nice, healthy weight. More “cushion for the pushin’” to borrow a rather colorful phase I’ve heard from your old girlfriend Braidykins a time or two in the past. Please stay well. Your Roy is quite a strapping lad in his own right, and feels certain he can manage to carry his little Jacqueline wherever her heart should desire, no matter how much weight she gains.
I’m quite pleased that you’ve taken up target practice! I know that scary Lieutenant Hawkeye woman that used to work for me was rumored to be quite an excellent shot, so I hope you won’t let your grandfather discourage you. The old fashioned among us may say it isn’t a fitting pastime for a young lady, but full speed ahead, I say! Where would Amestris be without its female fighters?
Keep on with the stiff upper lip when it comes to keeping tobacco out of the hands of the young. I’ve found over the years that giving children things meant for adults can lead to a great deal of personal guilt and suffering, and I have enough of that for both of us.
Returning each and every kiss,
Your Roy
PS—I’m still thinking about the patch of grass by the river you mention. You would look very lovely in such a place, smiling up at me with your beautiful blonde hair spread out around you. I hope you never feel you need struggle to keep Mr. Roy’s interest; rest assured, it is all he can do to keep his mind from you long enough to do his paperwork.
Dear Mr. Roy,
Lots of lipstick kisses this time! I tried to make a pretty pattern on the envelope for your mail secretary. And please tell Elizabeth that I am very glad for her help. It worked very well and Ma is very glad my “rash” has cleared up.
I was a little sad when I read about the reunion party you and the other girls are planning. I know that I shouldn’t be but I can’t always help it. I guess Braidykins was right and I am not really cut out for retired life in the country. I want to be with you all so much. I always want to help you out Mr. Roy and I have wanted to ever since I met you. I hope you all have fun at your reunion and are very careful because I don’t know what I would do if any of you get hurt. Please tell all the girls that I love them when they get there. But I love you the most so don’t worry, haha. I don’t care for other girls, Jacqueline only has eyes for Mr. Roy!
I also wanted to tell you your special present I have been ordering for you through the store is almost ready. And no, I’m sorry but it isn’t like what I gave you last time. If you want another present like that you will have to come and visit me in person. We call that ‘incentive’ in the shopkeeping business, haha.
You might be happy to hear I met up with another beautiful lady you used to know a long time ago while I was getting your present ready. I won’t tell you who it is but I will tell you she and one of her other friends will be the ones who will deliver you your present. I will send it soon, okay? I think you’ll like it and the beautiful girls who will give it to you. But don’t forget who sent it. No matter how many beautiful girls are around, you just keep remembering the place I was talking about in my last letter so that you remember your Jacqueline is waiting for her Mr. Roy to come see her.
You don’t have to worry about me getting too skinny anymore. My gram has made it her duty to feed me every kind of food she can think of, since she saw I was getting a little sick looking. I wish I could answer her when she asks why I keep smiling whenever I see her chocolate cakes but like I already said! A lady never tells!
I’m glad you keep thinking about me. I think about you too, a lot. Some of the doctors said that some of the things we used to do together I couldn’t do anymore after my little accident but I think they might be wrong. Sometimes when I’m alone and I’m thinking about you it all seems to be working like it’s supposed to be. I really like to think about kissing you, Mr. Roy. I think about that all the time.
I feel sort of silly writing that stuff down. I hope your mail secretary minds her own business. She isn’t prettier than me, is she. She better not be.
I’m working hard every day. I do the target practice, but I also use the presents Braidykins gave me three times a day and I do the exercises the doctors gave me to do too. I want to get better so I can meet you at the top again. I’m tired of being down here at the bottom by myself. Sometimes I have these dreams about you. That you’re hurt and I can’t reach you because of my legs and I wake up and I want to go to you right then and make sure it was just a dream and that you are really okay and…
I guess I shouldn’t write any more about that, huh? I want these letters to make you happy, Mr. Roy. Your letters always make me happy.
Here’s something happy to end on! Remember the time I had that little... problem... with a milk bottle and you had to come rescue me? If that can’t make you smile than nothing will.
I love you Mr. Roy,
Your Jacqueline
PS— That up there. ↑ I really do you know.
Jacqueline—
I’m so sorry this letter is going to be so fast and rushed, but some things have happened. We have to have our reunion very soon, sooner than I’d thought. I might not get another chance to send this.
I love you too.
I wish I’d told you that in person. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for every time I was cruel to you. I’m sorry I made you so many enemies. I’m sorry I got you hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix you. I know you can’t forgive me completely for it and I’m sorry for that too, not sorry for me, but sorry that you’ll have to be worried and angry forever when you already have so many other things to worry over and be angry about.
But I do love you. I hope I can see you again one day and tell you so. I at least hope that I can speak to you again, once more.
I dream about you, too.
Jacqu Jean. I love you. I’m sorry.
—Roy
Havoc held the letter, which had come express on the overnight train, in one hand. The weapon inventory list he held in the other dangled loose and forgotten beside the large front wheel on his chair. His face and throat, in fact his whole body from above the line at his belly where all feeling cut off, felt suddenly feverish, cold and hot and crawling.
Aware the letter was shaking in his hand, he clenched his eyes closed and pressed it against his chest to steady his grip.
“You’re sorry,” he said in a strangled whisper, and bleated a painful, humorless laugh that wanted to be a sob. “Oh, Roy, you goddamn idiot…”
He brought the letter to his face, but it had been too hastily written to have gleaned the faint smell of smoke and cologne the previous two had. He lowered it quickly.
“Not if I can help it, Roy,” he murmured, folding the letter and placing it in his breast pocket. He caressed the crease with his thumb, thinking of Roy’s long, slim fingers.
“You say something, Havoc?”
He looked up at the sound of Maria Ross’s voice and the immediate metallic clank of the ice cream truck’s loading door slamming closed. She climbed down, dusting herself off. Xing had been good to her; she was healthy and fit as ever. No one had been more shocked than Havoc when her name had come up when he’d been negotiating with the illegal weapon traffickers to get the weaponry Roy would need, but it had been a real stroke of luck. She’d be twice as valuable on the battlefield as any of the weapons he’d traded for. If he couldn’t be there fighting, he was glad to know she would be.
“Nope, not a thing.” He smiled and wheeled himself over.
“We forget anything the Colonel’s gonna need at a critical moment? I’d hate to be on the receiving end of one of his famous scoldings if we’ve left out just the exact wrong caliber of slingshot bullet…”
Havoc made himself smile. He could see Rebecca, Lieutenant Hawkeye’s old friend, in the truck’s driving seat, checking the stick shift for any potential catches or problems. Nice girl. She’d been a little distant after Havoc had cryptically explained that he was already spoken for, but nice all the same.
“I think we’ve got everything,” Havoc said, glancing over his inventory list one last time. “Here, I’ll give you this list, just in case you…”
He paused, the list held halfway out between them.
“Just in case what?” Maria repeated, looking puzzled.
“Listen,” Jean said, feeling his voice want to tighten, his cheeks want to go pink. He quelled both urges. “If I ask you a favor, will you… will you just do it and not ask why?”
“Sure, of course.” She looked worried. He ignored the expression, reaching into the small leather pocket on the side of his chair and extracting a stump of pencil. He began to scrawl numbers onto the bottom of the list.
“When you get to the Colonel, get him to call this number. Tell him it’s his benefactor, the one who sent the stuff. I don’t care what you have to say, just get him to call it. It goes to the store’s supply line; I’ll be watching it all the time.”
“Sure,” she said, looking a bit puzzled. “Sure, no problem.”
“And… and, if for some reason, he won’t, if he absolutely won’t call, or if for some reason something happens and he… can’t, will you tell him… just to him, not to anyone else… tell him that Jacqueline says…”
She watched with wide, expectant eyes as his words faltered.
“Tell him Jacqueline says…?” She prompted gently.
He suddenly shook his head. “Nah. Tell him Jean says he was never mad. Forgives him everything and then some and he doesn’t need to be sorry at all. And that Jean…” He swallowed. Steeled himself. “And say that Jean says he loves him, too.”
Author:
raja815Pairing/Fandom:Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang, Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3664
Warnings Manga spoilers from chapter 30 or so up to recent chapters. A smidge of angst. And fluff. Oh god, the fluff.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is © Hiromu Arakawa. I will make no capitol benefit from this.
Author's Notes: Written for
10_prompts, set 7, prompt #2, "Long Distance." Presented as a series of letters written by Havoc and Roy between manga chapters 83 and 89. Pretty reliant on the Roy-tachi's mission codenames. Also makes passing references to a good deal of my other works (most notably the Strange Bedfellows arc and the ABC Kink Project) but this fic can stand alone. Fun challenge to try and figure out their different writing styles, especially since they were both trying their damnedest to stay in character with their code name roles.Dear Mr. Roy,
I’d write this on pretty pink paper if I could but even Ma won’t carry it in the shop and she carries everything. What does that tell you, huh.
I got home yesterday afternoon. I always used to like traveling by train but this time it made me sick. I think it was the way my chair was moving around while the train was moving. Anyway, you don’t need to worry cause it put any boy in the car who might’ve been looking my way right back off me again. So you’re still stuck with me, haha. Remember the time when we first got together on the train? I was thinking about that. I told ol’ Braidykins I didn’t feel well, because I was embarrassed to sit where I could see you. You took care of that though didn’t you, you sly bastard.
Ma and Denis met me at the station. Denis was my favorite cousin when we were kids. You’d like him I think. You seem to like them tall and blond. Anyway it’s weird being back home. I don’t know if I like it. Not much for me to do even at the store. I can’t even reach the cash register. But Ma said she’d figure out something.
My little nephews are all afraid of me. Even Denis’ kids won’t really talk to me. They still tell some pretty fucked up stories about the military here, I guess.
I miss you.
I can’t believe I said that. I really am a silly little girl, aren’t I. But I do.
I guess I don’t have much else to say, so please write back soon if you get a sec.
Love and lots of girlie kisses,
Jacqueline
PS—Oh I forgot. You don’t have to worry about addressing these letters. Just use my first name, Jacqueline. None of that Miss Havoc bullshit cause believe me there are a lot of other Miss Havocs here. All the town mail comes through our shop anyway so I always see when the letter is for me!
PPS—Should I seal the next letter with a kiss? I don’t know. I never wrote many love letters before, haha. I am a little shy after all.
Dearest Jacqueline,
I see you haven’t lost your delicate sense of tongue-in-cheek humor, Jacqueline my dear. I was overwhelmed at the subtle, womanly wiles in your last correspondence. (And I must assure you, a kiss to the envelope could only improve things. You may not have heard, but my newest mail secretary lacks the guile of our own dear Elizabeth, and the more obvious your flirtations, the more might be done to turn her thoughts away from, shall we say, more businesslike affairs.)
I was very sorry to hear you were taken ill on the train. Having been on the receiving end of one of your more memorable bouts of stomach upset, I must say my thoughts go with your fellow passengers. But I do hope you feel better now that you have your figurative feet planted more firmly on the figurative ground.
And yes, Jacqueline. I do remember our train ride. I think of it very fondly.
While Denis certainly sounds charming, I believe I have all the blue-eyed blonde beauties I can handle at the moment. I’m not as young as I used to be.
Why don’t you tell your nephews some stories of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist and his heroic but expensive and paperwork-generating exploits? Our Elizabeth tells me this has worked quite well for entertaining the son of a certain friend she has in a very high place. Unfortunately, she also mentions that the boy himself is an unholy terror of a child. An unholy terror much like one of your most recent exes, if I understand correctly.
I miss you too, Jacqueline. Sometimes I find myself sitting rather too long in very smoky bars, trying to catch a whiff of your own peculiar brand of perfume, you silly little girl (to use your own phrase.)
I can’t help but wonder; if it isn’t delicate pink stationary you and your lovely mother sell, what is it? This admirer is admittedly curious about his favorite lady’s daily activities, and hopes your next letter will enlighten him further.
Ever yours,
Mr. Roy
Dear Mr. Roy,
There, how did you like your letter all sealed up with a kiss? Haha. I had to wait until Ma was out for a minute and take one of the lipsticks we sell and hide it under my blanket. I hope she doesn’t find it. I’m not allowed to wear make up, you see. Ma says it makes me look... trashy haha. Now she thinks I have a mouth rash though, cause I can’t quite figure out how to get all of it off after I use it.
Don’t you laugh at me about getting sick. You had some worse things happen at some points if you already forgot about them. But don’t worry, a lady never tells.
I don’t like the sound of that kid much, Mr. Roy. If he’s anything like my ex, he could be real trouble. I hope sweet little Elizabeth takes care. But she was always real careful when we worked in the flower shop. She kept the hawk’s eye on everything, all the time. So I know she’ll be okay.
Speaking of the ol’ flower shop... any word from Kate and Vanessa? I had a little call from Braidykins the other day and she said she hadn’t heard.
About the store… I guess the store sells most things. Chicken feed, fabric, pickled eggs, fishing tackle, hardware, shoes, pens, panties, soap, rope, candies, kittens, saddles, blankets, toothbrushes, hats… we can get pretty much anything we want. Ma’s going to start me doing some of the ordering and I think I might be able to get in a few special items that you might really like, Mr. Roy.
I spend most of the day in the store. Not the farm of course. Not much a girl like me can do to help there. But Denis did help me go around looking at some of the places we liked to play as kids. The river and the cow pond and the big barns and some of the fields where the ground was really flat so it was easier. I don’t think I’ll do it again though since it made me feel weird. Unless you come and visit sometime. Then I want to show you things. If you can believe it, there’s a little place by the river where some real soft grass grows. When I was a girl I always wanted to go there with someone special and mess around, you know. Maybe you and I could do that. You would have to carry me a little but it’s okay since I’m getting very skinny. Just like a pretty girl should be, right. Would you like to do that, Mr. Roy?
I got my grandpa to let me take his rifle for a while and practice last night. He didn’t want to let me but he caved in the end. I think I should practice. Just in case. It’s good for a girl to have a bunch of talents right and I am not much good at cooking and cleaning.
A bunch of kids came in today and wanted me to sell them some cigarettes. I told them I wasn’t the kind of girl to do that but they didn’t believe me. Ha.
I guess that’s all for now. Write me back if you can. I am a little lonely.
Lots of kisses,
Your Jacqueline
My beautiful Jacqueline,
I must say, the print of your lips against your last envelope put me into quite a state. Several people around headquarters remarked that they couldn’t ever remember seeing me in higher spirits. My new mail secretary was quite jealous. (I also had a quick word with Elizabeth about the your removal problem; she recommends you try wiping it away with cold cream or baby oil. Perhaps now you can better fool your mother. Although I must say, I don’t think she’s justified in her ban of your cosmetic use—a young lady as lovely as you should have every luxury.)
A lady never tells, eh? I’m quite pleased to hear it. A gentleman never tells either, just in case you ever worried. And we both know what a gentleman I am.
You’re quite right not to worry about our Elizabeth, Jacqueline. But thank you for your comforting words. I found them very reassuring; a welcome relief, as I seem to have very little else to reassure me these days.
As for your other old friends from the flower shop, I have heard from them recently, and all is well. In fact, we’re planning a bit of a reunion very soon now. I’m sorry you won’t be able to join us. A reunion is no reunion without my Jacqueline. I’ll miss you terribly the entire time.
Your store sounds as charming and eclectic as you yourself are! I do hope I can bring it some custom someday soon. I am particularly intrigued by the special nature of the items you hint at. What could they be, I wonder? Not the kind of thing you presented me for my last birthday, I trust. While I cherished the gift, I feel certain it isn’t the type of thing nice country girls like yourself should make readily available to the innocent folk in your township.
I’m very intrigued by your suggestion I visit your family’s farm, in particular by what you write about the patch of grass at the riverside. I am most titillated. I do hope such a trip can occur someday. Alas, it must wait til after this little reunion party is over and done with. I’m not sure what kind of state I’ll be in after it’s all over; you know how it can get when all of us are working together on something.
I must disagree with you about pretty, skinny girls. I prefer my Jacqueline at a nice, healthy weight. More “cushion for the pushin’” to borrow a rather colorful phase I’ve heard from your old girlfriend Braidykins a time or two in the past. Please stay well. Your Roy is quite a strapping lad in his own right, and feels certain he can manage to carry his little Jacqueline wherever her heart should desire, no matter how much weight she gains.
I’m quite pleased that you’ve taken up target practice! I know that scary Lieutenant Hawkeye woman that used to work for me was rumored to be quite an excellent shot, so I hope you won’t let your grandfather discourage you. The old fashioned among us may say it isn’t a fitting pastime for a young lady, but full speed ahead, I say! Where would Amestris be without its female fighters?
Keep on with the stiff upper lip when it comes to keeping tobacco out of the hands of the young. I’ve found over the years that giving children things meant for adults can lead to a great deal of personal guilt and suffering, and I have enough of that for both of us.
Returning each and every kiss,
Your Roy
PS—I’m still thinking about the patch of grass by the river you mention. You would look very lovely in such a place, smiling up at me with your beautiful blonde hair spread out around you. I hope you never feel you need struggle to keep Mr. Roy’s interest; rest assured, it is all he can do to keep his mind from you long enough to do his paperwork.
Dear Mr. Roy,
Lots of lipstick kisses this time! I tried to make a pretty pattern on the envelope for your mail secretary. And please tell Elizabeth that I am very glad for her help. It worked very well and Ma is very glad my “rash” has cleared up.
I was a little sad when I read about the reunion party you and the other girls are planning. I know that I shouldn’t be but I can’t always help it. I guess Braidykins was right and I am not really cut out for retired life in the country. I want to be with you all so much. I always want to help you out Mr. Roy and I have wanted to ever since I met you. I hope you all have fun at your reunion and are very careful because I don’t know what I would do if any of you get hurt. Please tell all the girls that I love them when they get there. But I love you the most so don’t worry, haha. I don’t care for other girls, Jacqueline only has eyes for Mr. Roy!
I also wanted to tell you your special present I have been ordering for you through the store is almost ready. And no, I’m sorry but it isn’t like what I gave you last time. If you want another present like that you will have to come and visit me in person. We call that ‘incentive’ in the shopkeeping business, haha.
You might be happy to hear I met up with another beautiful lady you used to know a long time ago while I was getting your present ready. I won’t tell you who it is but I will tell you she and one of her other friends will be the ones who will deliver you your present. I will send it soon, okay? I think you’ll like it and the beautiful girls who will give it to you. But don’t forget who sent it. No matter how many beautiful girls are around, you just keep remembering the place I was talking about in my last letter so that you remember your Jacqueline is waiting for her Mr. Roy to come see her.
You don’t have to worry about me getting too skinny anymore. My gram has made it her duty to feed me every kind of food she can think of, since she saw I was getting a little sick looking. I wish I could answer her when she asks why I keep smiling whenever I see her chocolate cakes but like I already said! A lady never tells!
I’m glad you keep thinking about me. I think about you too, a lot. Some of the doctors said that some of the things we used to do together I couldn’t do anymore after my little accident but I think they might be wrong. Sometimes when I’m alone and I’m thinking about you it all seems to be working like it’s supposed to be. I really like to think about kissing you, Mr. Roy. I think about that all the time.
I feel sort of silly writing that stuff down. I hope your mail secretary minds her own business. She isn’t prettier than me, is she. She better not be.
I’m working hard every day. I do the target practice, but I also use the presents Braidykins gave me three times a day and I do the exercises the doctors gave me to do too. I want to get better so I can meet you at the top again. I’m tired of being down here at the bottom by myself. Sometimes I have these dreams about you. That you’re hurt and I can’t reach you because of my legs and I wake up and I want to go to you right then and make sure it was just a dream and that you are really okay and…
I guess I shouldn’t write any more about that, huh? I want these letters to make you happy, Mr. Roy. Your letters always make me happy.
Here’s something happy to end on! Remember the time I had that little... problem... with a milk bottle and you had to come rescue me? If that can’t make you smile than nothing will.
I love you Mr. Roy,
Your Jacqueline
PS— That up there. ↑ I really do you know.
Jacqueline—
I’m so sorry this letter is going to be so fast and rushed, but some things have happened. We have to have our reunion very soon, sooner than I’d thought. I might not get another chance to send this.
I love you too.
I wish I’d told you that in person. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for every time I was cruel to you. I’m sorry I made you so many enemies. I’m sorry I got you hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix you. I know you can’t forgive me completely for it and I’m sorry for that too, not sorry for me, but sorry that you’ll have to be worried and angry forever when you already have so many other things to worry over and be angry about.
But I do love you. I hope I can see you again one day and tell you so. I at least hope that I can speak to you again, once more.
I dream about you, too.
—Roy
Havoc held the letter, which had come express on the overnight train, in one hand. The weapon inventory list he held in the other dangled loose and forgotten beside the large front wheel on his chair. His face and throat, in fact his whole body from above the line at his belly where all feeling cut off, felt suddenly feverish, cold and hot and crawling.
Aware the letter was shaking in his hand, he clenched his eyes closed and pressed it against his chest to steady his grip.
“You’re sorry,” he said in a strangled whisper, and bleated a painful, humorless laugh that wanted to be a sob. “Oh, Roy, you goddamn idiot…”
He brought the letter to his face, but it had been too hastily written to have gleaned the faint smell of smoke and cologne the previous two had. He lowered it quickly.
“Not if I can help it, Roy,” he murmured, folding the letter and placing it in his breast pocket. He caressed the crease with his thumb, thinking of Roy’s long, slim fingers.
“You say something, Havoc?”
He looked up at the sound of Maria Ross’s voice and the immediate metallic clank of the ice cream truck’s loading door slamming closed. She climbed down, dusting herself off. Xing had been good to her; she was healthy and fit as ever. No one had been more shocked than Havoc when her name had come up when he’d been negotiating with the illegal weapon traffickers to get the weaponry Roy would need, but it had been a real stroke of luck. She’d be twice as valuable on the battlefield as any of the weapons he’d traded for. If he couldn’t be there fighting, he was glad to know she would be.
“Nope, not a thing.” He smiled and wheeled himself over.
“We forget anything the Colonel’s gonna need at a critical moment? I’d hate to be on the receiving end of one of his famous scoldings if we’ve left out just the exact wrong caliber of slingshot bullet…”
Havoc made himself smile. He could see Rebecca, Lieutenant Hawkeye’s old friend, in the truck’s driving seat, checking the stick shift for any potential catches or problems. Nice girl. She’d been a little distant after Havoc had cryptically explained that he was already spoken for, but nice all the same.
“I think we’ve got everything,” Havoc said, glancing over his inventory list one last time. “Here, I’ll give you this list, just in case you…”
He paused, the list held halfway out between them.
“Just in case what?” Maria repeated, looking puzzled.
“Listen,” Jean said, feeling his voice want to tighten, his cheeks want to go pink. He quelled both urges. “If I ask you a favor, will you… will you just do it and not ask why?”
“Sure, of course.” She looked worried. He ignored the expression, reaching into the small leather pocket on the side of his chair and extracting a stump of pencil. He began to scrawl numbers onto the bottom of the list.
“When you get to the Colonel, get him to call this number. Tell him it’s his benefactor, the one who sent the stuff. I don’t care what you have to say, just get him to call it. It goes to the store’s supply line; I’ll be watching it all the time.”
“Sure,” she said, looking a bit puzzled. “Sure, no problem.”
“And… and, if for some reason, he won’t, if he absolutely won’t call, or if for some reason something happens and he… can’t, will you tell him… just to him, not to anyone else… tell him that Jacqueline says…”
She watched with wide, expectant eyes as his words faltered.
“Tell him Jacqueline says…?” She prompted gently.
He suddenly shook his head. “Nah. Tell him Jean says he was never mad. Forgives him everything and then some and he doesn’t need to be sorry at all. And that Jean…” He swallowed. Steeled himself. “And say that Jean says he loves him, too.”
