Fic - "ABC Kink - Z for Zoophilia"
Mar. 12th, 2009 03:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rajTitle: ABC Kink - "Z for Zoophilia"
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
raja815
Character/Fandom: Roy Mustang/Jean Havoc. Fullmetal Alchemist.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 660
Warnings: Humor. Non serious mentions of unusual sexual practices.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is © Hiromu Arakawa. I will make no capitol benefit from this.
Notes: This one's a button fic, to put all the alphabet fics together and bring them to their close. :)
for “Zoophilia"
“I’ve heard it’s the most intense sensation,” Roy said, “utterly indescribable.”
“…A gerbil. Up the ass.” Jean was still staring at Mustang in stark disbelief. The kittens in the pet shop window beside them kept up their oblivious scurrying.
It was because of kittens that Jean was here in the first place; Alphonse Elric had just that morning managed to push one of his seemingly endless supply of orphan kitties onto Jean, and he needed food for the goddamn little hairball. Honestly, if anyone had told Jean before he enlisted that a six-foot suit of armor could guilt trip you into taking in a cat when you were dirt-poor, allergic to dander, and living in a supposedly pet-free apartment, he would’ve assumed you’d had a few too many and tried to get the bartender to cut you off, but that was life under Roy Mustang’s command for you. Roy himself had expressed interest in the kitten’s well being, enough to want to accompany Jean to the pet store. Of course, now Jean thought he must’ve had other, more sinister plans.
“Yes, that’s what I’ve heard.” Mustang continued, tapping the glass to antagonize the kittens into more amusing acrobatics. “The way they scamper, I suppose, or maybe their little paws.”
“That’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever head in my life.”
“What, aren’t you even the slightest bit curious?”
“No!”
“Oh, Lieutenant,” Mustang clucked his tongue. “You disappoint me.”
“I disappoint you? I’m not the one suggesting he stuff a live gerbil up his own ass.”
“Mine? I wasn’t referring to mine.” He reached over and gave Jean’s buttocks a slight squeeze.
“No.”
“Now now, when have I ever steered you wrong before?”
“Plenty of times!” Jean’s hands flew up in exasperation. “You know, I used to be a kind of a stand up guy before I took up with you. Maybe I hadn’t had a huge lot of sex—”
Roy snorted; Jean glared at him and pushed on.
“But all of it was nice and normal. The most unusual kink I ever had was fantasizing about squirting off between my postmistress’ tits.”
“Adorable,” Roy said, smirking. He slid a hand down and gave Jean another little squeeze, this time at his crotch.
“And now, look at me. You’ve got me rolling around in cakes, dressing up like a girl, puking on your dick and giving you enemas, getting off watching you piss yourself—”
“I thought we agreed never to mention that again.” A very faint but infinitely reassuring blush spotted Roy’s cheeks at that last mention.
“All deals are off when you start putting live animals up my ass, Sir.” Jean folded his arms and planted his feet. “We have to have some boundaries.”
“Undoubtedly. But, your theatrics notwithstanding, I’ve noted you have yet to ask me to remove my deranged, gerbil-annihilating hand from your cock.”
This was true. Jean looked down at it, then dropped his arms and planted a quick kiss on Roy’s lips.
“I hate you so much,” he said.
“I know you do,” Roy replied, and kissed him back. They both turned for a moment and watched the kittens, who seemed utterly unperturbed by the sight of a few of the military’s most sexually deviant officers kissing in front of their only window to the outside world.
“So,” Jean said after a moment, “you getting a gerbil, or what?”
Roy tisked and flicked Jean’s wrist. “I was only kidding, Havoc. Honestly, you really are a sick man. Now come on, if we’re going to get your new kitty some dinner.”
Jean glared as he opened the door and followed Roy in. “I think I’m going to name the furry little nuisance after you, Sir. You’re both a scourge to rodents everywhere.”
“I’d be so honored,” Roy said, and briefly took Jean by the hand to lead him inside.
26/26
That's it for this project. Now I'll finally have time for a decent night's sleep again. XD Hope you all enjoyed your new, improved ABC lessons.
Maybe next time I can corrupt the hiragana or something. :D
Author/Artist:
raja815Character/Fandom: Roy Mustang/Jean Havoc. Fullmetal Alchemist.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 660
Warnings: Humor. Non serious mentions of unusual sexual practices.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is © Hiromu Arakawa. I will make no capitol benefit from this.
Notes: This one's a button fic, to put all the alphabet fics together and bring them to their close. :)
for “Zoophilia"“I’ve heard it’s the most intense sensation,” Roy said, “utterly indescribable.”
“…A gerbil. Up the ass.” Jean was still staring at Mustang in stark disbelief. The kittens in the pet shop window beside them kept up their oblivious scurrying.
It was because of kittens that Jean was here in the first place; Alphonse Elric had just that morning managed to push one of his seemingly endless supply of orphan kitties onto Jean, and he needed food for the goddamn little hairball. Honestly, if anyone had told Jean before he enlisted that a six-foot suit of armor could guilt trip you into taking in a cat when you were dirt-poor, allergic to dander, and living in a supposedly pet-free apartment, he would’ve assumed you’d had a few too many and tried to get the bartender to cut you off, but that was life under Roy Mustang’s command for you. Roy himself had expressed interest in the kitten’s well being, enough to want to accompany Jean to the pet store. Of course, now Jean thought he must’ve had other, more sinister plans.
“Yes, that’s what I’ve heard.” Mustang continued, tapping the glass to antagonize the kittens into more amusing acrobatics. “The way they scamper, I suppose, or maybe their little paws.”
“That’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever head in my life.”
“What, aren’t you even the slightest bit curious?”
“No!”
“Oh, Lieutenant,” Mustang clucked his tongue. “You disappoint me.”
“I disappoint you? I’m not the one suggesting he stuff a live gerbil up his own ass.”
“Mine? I wasn’t referring to mine.” He reached over and gave Jean’s buttocks a slight squeeze.
“No.”
“Now now, when have I ever steered you wrong before?”
“Plenty of times!” Jean’s hands flew up in exasperation. “You know, I used to be a kind of a stand up guy before I took up with you. Maybe I hadn’t had a huge lot of sex—”
Roy snorted; Jean glared at him and pushed on.
“But all of it was nice and normal. The most unusual kink I ever had was fantasizing about squirting off between my postmistress’ tits.”
“Adorable,” Roy said, smirking. He slid a hand down and gave Jean another little squeeze, this time at his crotch.
“And now, look at me. You’ve got me rolling around in cakes, dressing up like a girl, puking on your dick and giving you enemas, getting off watching you piss yourself—”
“I thought we agreed never to mention that again.” A very faint but infinitely reassuring blush spotted Roy’s cheeks at that last mention.
“All deals are off when you start putting live animals up my ass, Sir.” Jean folded his arms and planted his feet. “We have to have some boundaries.”
“Undoubtedly. But, your theatrics notwithstanding, I’ve noted you have yet to ask me to remove my deranged, gerbil-annihilating hand from your cock.”
This was true. Jean looked down at it, then dropped his arms and planted a quick kiss on Roy’s lips.
“I hate you so much,” he said.
“I know you do,” Roy replied, and kissed him back. They both turned for a moment and watched the kittens, who seemed utterly unperturbed by the sight of a few of the military’s most sexually deviant officers kissing in front of their only window to the outside world.
“So,” Jean said after a moment, “you getting a gerbil, or what?”
Roy tisked and flicked Jean’s wrist. “I was only kidding, Havoc. Honestly, you really are a sick man. Now come on, if we’re going to get your new kitty some dinner.”
Jean glared as he opened the door and followed Roy in. “I think I’m going to name the furry little nuisance after you, Sir. You’re both a scourge to rodents everywhere.”
“I’d be so honored,” Roy said, and briefly took Jean by the hand to lead him inside.
26/26
That's it for this project. Now I'll finally have time for a decent night's sleep again. XD Hope you all enjoyed your new, improved ABC lessons.
Maybe next time I can corrupt the hiragana or something. :D
